Here Is To...

It's time to start over. It's time for a new start. A clean slate. Things have changed and kind of flipped my world upside down, but I know it's for the better. I am so much happier than I have been in a long time. I am excited for my future. I am not scared anymore.

Here is to new beginnings.
Here is to living my life the way I want to.
Here is to making dreams happen.
Here is to not saying no to adventure.
Here is to being crazy scared out of my mind.
Here is to living life one day at a time.
Here is to starting over.

I think for the past month or so I have been telling myself that everything is alright. That things will be fine, but I never really believed it. I put on a happy face and was pretending. That worked for me though. I didn't know how to really do anything else. It wasn't until recently that I realized I really just need to start over. Start from the very beginning and create a new life for myself. One with amazing friends (even though I already have those), one with lots of clothes, one filled with things that simply inspire me. Let me tell you I am going at it full force. My first change is giving my room a complete makeover.

So I have pretty much had the same room since I was ten. My room is pink, and let's just say a total ballerina room. There is just once problem. Not once in my life have I ever been a ballerina. Even when I was dancing I chose Hip-Hop! It is pretty much the exact opposite of who I am. I know something as simple as a room makeover sounds pretty silly when it comes to starting over, but it is the first thing I have truly been excited for in a VERY long time. It is all me. I am the one that gets to choose everything, and it will be 100% me. It is things like this that get me excited about life. Being able to be creative.

Another thing I have decided to change is do things that I want to do, but take those I love along the ride with me. I am such a visual person. A perfect day for me would be to hop on my bike, go to downtown Salt Lake, and just look at everything. Stopping at little stores I find no matter how random. I just want to see things. That is what makes me happy. As I have been doing a lot of thinking this past month, I have finally began to realized how much I love Salt Lake City. It is just beautiful. I have taken it for granted. I am so lucky to live in such a beautiful place.

One thing I have had to figure out for myself lately is the kind of people I want to surround myself with. This has been really hard for me, because it has caused me to really have to sit down and think about what makes me happy. I have tried to let people in to help me, and in that process I have figured out exactly what I need. I have a hard time meeting new people. I am definitely not the type of person that goes up to a stranger, and strikes up a conversation. I just can't do it. I wish I could, but it's just not who I am. My solution has been to really think about the things and places I love, and surround myself in those places and things. I really great friend helped me realized what those places and things were. For those of you that don't know, I am a Mormon. I am sure most of you knew that to. My religion is very important to me, and very close to my heart, but probably not in the way most people in Utah would like it to be. The truth is I would rather sit in a coffee shop reading a book, than go to FHE. I am going to find my kind of people roaming around on a bike in downtown Salt Lake, not in an institute building. It took a lot of time to finally realize that, but now I know what really makes me happy. I am not going to pretend anymore for the sake of other people or friends. That is just the way it is, and I am happy to be that way.

There are so many other things that I am finally excited about, but one thing is this blog. I have said this so many times, but I really have been trying to make this blog my own. I think I have finally decided how I plan on doing that, and I apologize in advance, but it is going to be even more random than ever! No more Music Monday, or Five Fantastic Things. If there is music I want to share I will share it. If there is something fantastic going on in my life, I will say it. I am sick of feeling like I have to live up to some schedule I have created on this thing. So from now on, there will be a lot of random thoughts. Let's be honest, it will probably be 99% random thoughts, but that is what makes it mine. So if you enjoy my crazy, confused, insane, passionate, sentimental, day dreaming random thoughts then stick around.